Starbucks thinks Sharpies and smiles will fix its slump. I’m not so sure. The Wall Street Journal just covered Starbucks’ new plan: 200,000 baristas trained to greet you, smile, and hand off your drink with a “moment of connection.” CEO Brian Niccol is betting that eye contact and warmer cafes will bring sales back. Here’s the problem: High prices and wait times are the real friction. I love Starbucks coffee. But too often, I’m on the road deciding: Do I pull off, wait in line, pay $4, and stand around for a coffee? Or do I walk into Racetrack, push a button, get fresh-ground coffee, pay $2, and leave in under three minutes? That’s the fork in the road Starbucks ignores. They actually serve three different customers: Quick coffee buyers (just want caffeine, now). Third place lingerers (meetings, laptops, comfy chairs). Indulgence drinkers (5-ingredient, high-margin creations). Starbucks forces all three through one clogged funnel. The custom orders slow everything down, and the $2 brewed coffee buyer gets stuck behind the $7 caramel latte. Here’s the idea they’re missing: bifurcation. Put in self-serve stations for plain coffee—like Racetrack but with Starbucks beans. Let baristas focus on the high-margin drinks and the third-place vibe. McDonald’s figured out years ago you need two drive-thru lanes. Starbucks hasn’t figured out you need two service models. Smile training might help at the edges. But until they fix throughput and format, competitors like Dutch Bros, 7 Brew, and yes, even gas stations, will keep peeling customers away. Don’t script around your bottleneck. Solve the bottleneck What do you think about forcing every barista to engage with you and write your name on the cup? I’d rather have my coffee faster and cheaper. https://lnkd.in/ezaatkmc